…and by consequence, hate you.
1. The Cloak of Invincibility
I don’t know which of the Three Brothers from Harry Potter it was that you stole the cloak of invincibility from, but let me tell you— you may be able to escape death, but you can’t escape our wrath. That’s right. We all hate you because you do the one thing none of us can’t, and that’s being completely invincible. And that’s not to say we’ve tried. We spend countless trying to achieve this one task. We’re jealous because you managed to surpass us all in less than 45 minutes after creating your character, and you seem to evade every bit of harm that comes your way. I mean, at a certain point it’s no longer death that just wants you dead— everybody and their mother wants you dead. Why?
So we can dance on your grave. Do you realize what an accomplishment would be if we could actually scratch your skin? If a God is among us, you are it. Just don’t be sure to lose your cloak, or you’ll come crawling out with an array of kitchen knives protruding from your chest.
Now don’t get me wrong, I hate that guy with the glasses and the pin-striped tie as much as the next guy, but even that man deserves a little bit of my respect. See, the reason everyone hates you and not the man with the questionable tie is because of your apathy. That’s right. Treating people or their characters like they don’t matter reflects poorly on you. Now, why should you care? “I’m a strong independent black woman who don’t need no man.” Well here’s the reason why, Miss Independent; because not giving someone’s character the time of day or the acknowledgment they deserve for the effort placed, means you’ll be ostracized for it. It’s not that everyone hates you— they just hate you.
Acknowledge what a character does to you. If a character speaks in a threatening or scathing tone, maybe it’s okay if your character brushes it off the first time around. But if the same interaction between both parties ends up where one intends to slice the other’s gut open with a butter knife and rip your cotton innards out like a 5-year-old having a heyday, then take a hint. Please. For your own sake and others. Nobody wants that secondhand embarrassment from your inability to realize that the man with the machete in his hand is not using it as a means to seduce you. Or to simply throw a tantrum. Show them a little respect. Or chances are they’ll probably etch the letters into your scalp for you.
3. The Dreaded One-Line Response to your 5 Paragraph Essay
You shouldn’t hate me for my length— I should hate you for your inconsiderate and insufficient reply. How does the saying go? “It’s not the size that matters, it’s how you use it.” And I agree. I’m all for quality over quantity. Give me someone that knows how to write well and I will eat that shit up like white on rice. But there’s a bit of a problem here; you can’t be a good writer with a one or two-sentence reply. And the unspoken rule is that you give as much as you get. If you can’t handle a para-heavy role-play be it in gif-conversations or in para’s, then here’s an option: don’t join it. It’s either that or make a solid effort to improve. However to completely disregard everything a character is saying whether it’s in an open-post or a thread, is to throw-out all that effort to the curb. This situation fits in well with the whole disrespect factor, and at the end of the day it’s simply about returning the same effort in kind. Acknowledge the time spent a player puts forth in writing something, and if you feel you can’t handle it then try for a less text-centric role-play group. And don’t use the excuse, “But that’s all my character had to say.” Wrong. That’s all you had to say.
4. Cookie-Cutter Characters
Everybody gather ‘round because guess what? With insomnia, nothing is real. Everything is a copy of a copy of a copy. That’s right. Now I know if any of you had the blessed opportunity to come in contact with one of those copiers as a kid, you probably pulled your pants down and sat on it doing carbon-copied sheets of your ass. And you know what the sad part is? My story about carbon-copying my ass as a child is indefinitely more interesting than your cardboard cut-out excuse for a character. Now it’s okay we know you can’t help it. You’re new to role-playing, and you’ve only been role-playing for only about say…a month and nine years. But you know what? It’s cool if your characters are all the same. If you fit the stereotypical role of the sassy bitch that doesn’t know when to realize she is not the center of the universe. Also known as the ‘You Tried!’ version of the Femme Fatale. But then there’s also the sarcastic bastard that thinks he’s the greatest thing since sliced bread. Sorry mate, if I had a knife to butter you up with, I’d be slicing something else off of your body.
In any case, you get my drift. These personality types are old, exhausted, and get recycled more times than I can count. Probably more times than I actually recycle. Which is bad, but that’s besides the point. If we could do good to the environment for the amount of times these characters appear, you could finally applaud yourself— you’re doing society a service.
5. Inconsistency of Character
Let me tell you that the only two-faced individual I like is Harvey Dent from Batman. And that’s because he just gives the meaning of “two-face” a whole new level. However your character that is fresh-off-the-press, a newly made and embodied character has no business whatsoever playing a bastard to everyone and then disgustingly sweet when a handsome knight in armor appears. I get it, we all want to be charming in front of the person we’re attracted to. But maybe that’s just where the issue lies. You can’t be selective on who you choose to display that inconsistency of character to unless it is for another purpose. Everyone needs to be on equal playing ground. A sociopath while they may manipulate and appear to be charming to all, they have a distinct lack of emotional empathy that doesn’t necessarily allow them to harbor a preference for one person over another. There becomes an issue when your character begins to hold a “preference” and usually one that is grounded in some sort of bias. For example, only talking to a certain face-claim you like.
The point here is that if you’ve created your character one way, stick to their personality. There is something more to be said of a character being consistent in whom they are no matter how rash they appear to be, as opposed to one who is flighty. Constantly changing your character for the sake of convenience means you’re role-playing for the wrong reasons, or not at all. People don’t budge easily. And neither should you.
That’s all I can think of for now. I suppose I should end this with something on a more positive note, but I’d rather emphasize how much the above annoys me.
Role-play is a wonderful place. You will all do great things with your lives.